John Cowan - Sleep

Friday, February 17, 2012 11:05 AM

Children and young people are terribly sleep-deprived in our culture. Their brain and bodies need sleep, and you need some space at the end of the day without children around, too: to recharge and relax.

All children can sleep. In fact, when you think about it, they have slept, every night of their lives! The goal is to getting them to go to sleep independently, to sleep long enough and to sleep at the time you want them to. Children also wake during the night, sometimes several times, and so part of the goal is to train them to settle themselves again without needing adult assistance and comfort.

The key is a reliable routine: every night - or at least every school night – you follow the same pattern. You do the same things, the same way, at the same time. It won't happen immediately, but this will actually train their bodies to start feeling sleepy at the right time.

Like an air traffic controller landing a plane, make contact and let them know what is going to happen well ahead of time. "Another half an hour and then it will be bed time." Start winding them down: involve them in quiet, relaxing activities rather than loud, active play. There is good reason to think that the bright screens from computers, phones and TVs actually keep the brain from switching off. Not only are the activities normally stimulating, the light itself tricks their body into thinking that it is still day time. It can even help to start dimming down the whole house.

Make part of the routine the fact that bedtime really is the "IN bed" time, and so ten minutes before the set time, they start on their routine for preparing for bed: pyjamas on, go to the toilet, wash hands, brush teeth and so on.

It can be lovely to go to bed in a special way – if you are up to it, it can be really nice to give them a horsey ride to bed, or do a circuit of the people in the home saying goodnight.

Your state of mind as you go to sleep is very important. If parents just take a while to chat about the day while they are in bed, listening and reflecting, it can help them settle the issues that might be bothering them.

Make sure they know the bedtime rules: "Once in bed, that’s it. Night-time is for sleeping because children need to sleep to grow. It's O.K. to call us if you are unwell and need help. If you need to go to the toilet, just take yourself quietly. Wake up time is when the radio comes on in the morning."

Make sure their bedroom is comfy and warm. Many kids appreciate a night light, especially if they are settling in.

Stories and prayers are a nice way to round off the day. Some kids might like a lamp and a stack of books: "If you wake up and can't go back to sleep, just read until you are sleepy."