Lynnaire Johnston - Learning from road rage

Monday, July 18, 2011 10:22 AM

I'm always amazed about what upsets my significant other when he's behind the wheel. And how that differs from what annoys me.

To be fair, what irritates me is often not what else is happening on the road but what he's doing. Little things like changing down into fourth gear on a flat road for no apparent reason (what's that about?), dribbling away from the traffic lights as if he's got all day when I'm in a hurry, and turning on the indicators after he's already started the movement he's signalling.

He becomes very upset by even the smallest mistakes other drivers make, so much so that it must create havoc with his blood pressure. My father, too, becomes unaccountably enraged by other drivers' behaviour even though he's a shocking driver himself. He'll toot at others for merely being where he wants to be, for instance, which you must agree is not very helpful, or logical.

It's ridiculous, I know, to be annoyed by what another driver does, but we do it all the time. At its worst, we know it as road rage. Now, fortunately, I've never been the victim of any more serious an incident than being yelled or tooted at (usually justifiably) but I can quite see how such things happen. But here's the thing: we all make mistakes.

I was recently waved at in a most unflatteringly manner by a policeman when I failed to notice someone at the edge of a pedestrian crossing, for instance. Now, I try hard to be a considerate and responsible driver, but that doesn't stop me sometimes becoming screamingly frustrated by the snail's pace adopted by so many of the drivers where I live - who seem to think the speed limit is something to aspire to rather than actually reach!

So, here's what I think: driving is not about getting from A to B in relative safety. It is about the lessons we each have to learn in life. For me, that's patience. For you, it might be something different, like being more observant. But I have noticed a very strange phenomenon: when you do something kind or generous on the roads, someone else does something kind or generous to you; if you take umbrage at someone else's mistake or do something silly yourself, the same comes back at you - in spades!

So, I'm trying to be a better driver not because I think it's the right thing to do (although I know it is) but because I want bad things to stop happening to me. That may not be the purest of motives, I agree, but hopefully it will nonetheless achieve the desired result.