Raylene Ramsay
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Relax, unwind, and enjoy your favourite love songs on Easy Mix.
Chocolate bite could help heart
Replacing snacks with a little piece of dark chocolate might help the heart, German researchers say. (Toby Talbot/Associated Press)
Eating a small amount of chocolate daily may help the heart and lower blood pressure, a European study suggests.
Nutrition researchers published their findings on 19,357 adults aged between 35 and 65 in Wednesday's issue of the European Heart Journal.
The team used questionnaires to analyze the diet and exercise habits of participants for at least 10 years.
Those who ate the most chocolate — an average of 7.5 grams per day or one square of a 100-gram bar — had lower blood pressure and a 39 per cent lower risk of having either a heart attack or stroke compared with those who ate the least chocolate, the researchers found.
If people eating the least amount of chocolate increased their intake by six grams a day, 85 fewer heart attacks and strokes per 10,000 people could be expected to occur over a period of about 10 years, said lead researcher Brian Buijsse of the German Institute of Human Nutrition.
"It's a bit too early to come up with recommendations that people should eat more chocolate, but if people replace sugar or high-fat snacks with a little piece of dark chocolate, that might help," Buijsse said.
Over eight years, 166 heart attacks (24 fatal) and 136 strokes (12 fatal) occurred, based on death certificates.
But if someone were to eat a small amount of chocolate every day without consuming fewer calories elsewhere to compensate or burning it off with exercise, then weight gain will occur, the researchers cautioned.
Antioxidant effect?
The study's authors only observed participants and did not give people chocolate directly to test its effects on the body.
The study's authors believe that flavanols in cocoa may be the reason why chocolate seems to be good for people's blood pressure and heart health. Since there is more cocoa in dark chocolate, dark chocolate may have a greater effect.
Flavanols are a class of the antioxidant flavonoids that are found in many vegetables, cocoa and red wine.
The flavanols in cocoa may be responsible for improving the availability of nitric oxide from the cells lining the inner wall of blood vessels, Buijsse said.
When the nitric oxide gas is released, blood vessels relax and widen, which may help lower blood pressure. The gas also improves the function of platelets in the blood.
A subset of findings from 1,568 participants who were asked to recall what type of chocolate was consumed in the last 24 hours showed 57 per cent ate milk chocolate, 24 per cent dark chocolate and two per cent white chocolate.
Cocoa content
Participants had no history of heart problems and their smoking and exercise habits were similar. Blood pressure, height and weight measurements were taken as part of a larger study called the European Prospective Investigation into Cancer or EPIC.
It's difficult to link the reduction in heart disease and stroke risk to the chocolate alone, since there may have been other differences between the study participants, cautioned Alice Lichtenstein, a nutritionist at Tufts University School of Medicine.
"The relationship between chocolate and good health outcomes is still uncertain," Lichtenstein said. "If somebody really enjoys eating chocolate, then they should have a small amount of that and just really enjoy it."
Basic scientific suggests dark chocolate containing at least 70 per cent cocoa content reduces oxidative stress and can improve blood flow and blood pressure, Frank Ruschitzka of Switzerland's University Hospital Zurich said in commenting on the study on behalf of the European Society of Cardiology, which publishes the journal
The study was funded by the German government and the European Union.
2010 Grammy Awards featuring a beautiful performance of Michael Jackson's 'Earth Song' by Celine Dion, Jennifer Hudson, Carrie Underwood ,Usher & Smokey Robinson
WHITE WEDDING: Australians Melinda Gaughwin and Gary Cook chose to marry on the Upper Neve of Tasman Glacier in the Southern Alps.
Chloe Sevigny's Dress Rips on Stage - Click
here for full details!
Raylene and Karen Walker at the Easy Mix Lunch!
IN MEMORY OF ASHLING SYMES
"If I Knew"
If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
And pray the Lord, your soul to keep.
If I knew it would be the last time
That I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
And call you back for one more.
If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
So I could play them back day after day.
If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
To stop and say "I love you,"
Instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.
If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
So I can let just this one slip away.
For surely there's always tomorrow
To make up for an oversight,
And we always get a second chance
To make everything just right.
There will always be another day
To say "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance
To say our "Anything I can do?"
But just in case I might be wrong,
And today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
And I hope we never forget.
Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
Young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
You get to hold your loved one tight.
So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
Why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
You'll surely regret the day,
That you didn't take that extra time
For a smile, a hug, or a kiss
And you were too busy to grant someone,
What turned out to be their one last wish.
So hold your loved ones close today,
And whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
And that you'll always hold them dear
Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
You'll have no regrets about today.
- Author Unknown
Infidelity Rife In The World Of Cybersex...
A study from the Swinburne University of Technology of 1,325 internet users found more than half of those who engaged in cybersex were married or in a serious relationship.
Psychologist and doctoral candidate Marcus Squirrell surveyed male and female internet users who regularly visited online sex, fetish and swinging sites to engage in online sexual activities.
Cybersex behaviours ranged from downloading erotic images and chatting online to using webcams to interact with others. The survey found 55 per cent of respondents were either married or classified themselves as in a committed relationship.
Mr Squirrell also found that 65 per cent of respondents had met someone offline face-to-face after engaging in some form of sexual online activity with them.
Chat rooms can provide a safe environment for exploring sexuality and may increase a sense of connection to the community, Mr Squirrell said.
In particular, he found that chat rooms could provide a forum for people identifying as gay, lesbian or bisexual as a stepping stone to "coming out".
But for others, cybersex can become obsessive and compulsive. "These people are putting so much energy into cybersex - in some cases up to 10 hours per day - that it is detracting from their relationship with their partner," he said.
"It can also adversely affect other areas of their lives, such as their education and employment." A profile of the average cybersex participant emerged as mostly male, well-educated and with an average age of 41 years.
It also found women had a strong preference for interactive-type chat sites, while men preferred to look at sexual images. The survey showed almost 40 per cent of respondents had stumbled across illegal online sites.
Mr Squirrell, who set up a clinic for people with cybersex addictions several months ago, says he has been "absolutely swamped" by new clients. "Other practitioners have reported the same response," he said.
Mr Squirrell will present his findings at an Australian Psychological Society conference in Darwin later this month and hopes it will enable best-practice treatment of cybersex participants.
So. Why do women have sex?
Women have sex to relieve boredom, keep the peace - and even to ensure their husband puts the rubbish out. They're among the findings of a new book, Why Women Have Sex, which cites 200 reasons after discounting the obvious physical attraction.
The authors, US-based psychologists Cindy Meston and David Buss, interviewed 1000 women worldwide. They conclude romance and passion rate low, with 84 per cent of women having sex to ensure a "quiet life" or as a bargaining tool for household chores.
New Zealand relationship experts say the research is enlightening, but many questions remain unanswered about why women have sex. Wellington-based sexologist Dr Michelle Mars said romance is probably low on the list because passion can easily dissipate during a long-term relationship.
"You might have sex to show your partner you still love and care about them - because you do - but maybe you don't fancy them in the same way any more. "The attraction can wear off. And when that happens I suppose the sex can become quite lame."
She said many of us fall into a routine of having bad sex out of habit. "I think if the book asked the question 'Why do women have good sex?' we would have got some very different answers."
Auckland sex therapist Nic Beets said someone using sex to make their husband do chores may have a more complex reason they were unlikely to talk about.
"For example, a woman who grew up with a family dealing with alcoholic problems might be generally quite neglected emotionally as a child.
"When they grow up and enter a relationship they might reassure themselves they are wanted by having sex - but if you asked that person why they are having sex, they probably won't give you that answer."
Beets, who runs the Couple Work clinic with his wife Verity Thom, said the book assumes people know why they do things.
"By and large, people are not self-aware enough to give proper answers to these sorts of questions, and it can be difficult making people open up."
Many women still find it difficult to feel entitled to their own pleasure, said Beets.
Reasons for sex...
- One wanted to "relieve boredom" and said "it was easier than fighting".
- Another said it was "the closest thing to God".
- Some cited the generosity of their boyfriends, explaining: "he bought me dinner" or "he spent a lot of money on me early on" .
- One in 10 admitted having "sex for presents".
- And one had pity sex: "I slept with a couple of them because I felt sorry for them."
How often is it ok to argue in a relationship?
Couples spend almost 10 days a year wallowing in silence after bust-ups. A husband has an average of two arguments a week with his wife - followed each time by two hours and 14 minutes of the silent treatment. That adds up to 232 hours and 16 minutes of wordless sulking every single year. Six out of 10 people refuse to kiss and make up quickly, preferring to sulk rather than admit they are in the wrong. The most common cause of rows is one person saying the wrong thing, while taking each other for granted is next. Some 76 per cent of couples believe that the odd spat is healthy. And a third of adults reckon they get on better with their spouse after they have kissed and made up. Let's hope their partners agree!
Tips on keeping your relationship happy and healthy.
Successful relationships are based on the following components:
Communication. Listen to your partner. Avoid blame and judgment. Do not make assumptions. Don’t let your emotions dictate your behavior.
Trust and respect. A sense of trust is present when each person feels safe to be open, honest and genuine. Respect helps build this through not judging or criticizing the other’s opinions, feelings and beliefs.
Team approach. When tough times hit, try to remember you’re on the same team. You either both win or both lose. Support each other and work together. Relationships are not meant to be a tug of war against each other. In fact, you both should be on the same side pulling against the world.
Deal with problems as they arise. Conflict is a natural part of any relationship. Addressing differences one at a time helps avoid bad feelings spoiling a good relationship. Do not hold grudges; work through the matter and let it go.
Share responsibility and decision making. Healthy relationships are an equal partnership. This applies to the work involved as well as the power dynamics between the couple.
Fight fair. Judging your partner undermines a relationship. Address behavior without criticizing the person. Know where your partner’s vulnerable spots are and never use these during conflicts.
Take care of yourself. It is your responsibility to know what you want and determine how to achieve that. Make any requests of your partner clear and direct. It is not okay to blame someone for your failure to assert yourself.
It could be you at fault. How to accept it, fix it, and move on.
If you make a mistake by doing or saying something that is hurtful or damaging to the relationship, say that you are sorry. Many people struggle with these words, even when they know that what they did was wrong. It actually takes a strong person to apologize. Don't wait until you think you have the courage but say it immediately, and with sincerity. Too often when couples argue, there is a long period of silence, which actually makes the anger and tension worse. You need to let your partner know immediately that you made a mistake and ask for forgiveness.
The Golden Rules Of Praise.
Admiration is a trait we should all feel towards our partners. However, there are certain occasions or times in our lives where our partners deserve an extra bit fuss for their efforts. Relationship experts say in these times, your response could be a relationship-defining moment. So how do you do it? Be Sincere. Everyone knows when you're being fake, especially your partner. If you're not feeling it at the moment, just focus on what aspect you can be proud of. Do It In Public. Just about everyone loves hearing how well they've done something. It's even better when they're hearing it while you're telling someone else how amazing they are. Make It Relative to the Occasion. Keep the act or accomplishment your partner has achieved in perspective to the praise you give.
Making Marriage work.
Sharing power and decision-making between partners in a relationship is crucial. Always agreeing is not necessary. Displaying respect for your partner by seeking their views and taking them into account is. More men than women struggle with this. Traditional ideas about gender roles may be undermining the resilience of some relationships. Research shows an 81% chance of a relationship collapse where a man cannot accept his partner's influence.
Its important to break from the “norm”. ‘Normal’ in a partnership leads to boredom and frustration down the line. Do new but simple things to mix it up. Casual, friendly meetings 'just because' will always help you to stay best friends. Hanging out together should be as much of a staple in your relationship as the six food groups in your diet. Get back into the saddle of life. Remember the crazy romantic things you used to do together and do them again. Reverse roles without consultation. Let your partner know the instant they walk in the door you're on cooking duties tonight, or you're taking the kids to their dance lesson tonight. Mix it up. Avoid the norm and keep your life 'alive'.
Financial issues causing problems in your relationship? Tips to keep you from going crazy over money:
Understand the male/female gift dichotomy. Men go for the wow gift - the gift that impresses, the gift with the big monetary outlay. But as baseball's Yankees taught us, a big monetary investment doesn't always produce the best results. Women, on the other hand, often go for creativity and thoughtfulness, which can sometimes be lost on those masters of short-attention-span: their husbands/boyfriends. To avoid conflict over gifts, men need to understand that the odd, quirky presents that women give truly express their hearts; and women need to understand that men deeply care, but their way of showing it might seem as though they're substituting money for forethought. Or worse, their way of showing it involves a discussion with the clerk at the CVS, rather than the gem specialist at the finest store in town!
Don't let money become a control issue. If one person in the relationship makes significantly more bank than the other, one of two things typically happens. The person who makes the least is afraid to spend anything, because he or she feels like they don't have a right to any of the money. Or that person will spend like crazy as a way to gain back some of the control they feel they've lost. To avoid these conflicts, set a budget for the both of you, and make sure each of you has access to holiday cash.
Don't equate your financial worth with self-worth. Arguments about money over the holidays are aggravated because men tend to look at life like a stakes race - and they ride a whole lot taller in the saddle when they're sitting on a nice fat wallet. In their minds, they feel they either have what it takes to stuff the stocking or they don't. When a conflict arises, it helps if a woman expresses her appreciation of the value he's already bringing to the relationship, aside from dollars. (And, guys, remember that money's just one contribution to your coupledom, and not even the most important one. Your gifts should speak to the pillars of your relationship, not just the available funds line in the financial statement.) Since money problems are rarely about money-but rather fear, power, insecurity and the like - it pays to learn how to manage these bigger aspects first.
What flowers do I send to the one I love?
Select blooms that speak a language all of their own. Certain flowers have become aligned with different meanings over the ages. The following flowers all relate to love, marriage and affection.
What each flower represents...
Amaryllis - pride
Angelica - inspiration
Apple blossom - preference
Azalea - temperance
Cactus - warmth
Camellia white - true excellence
Camellia red - loveliness
China rose - everlasting beauty
Chrysanthemum red - in love
Chrysanthemum white - truth
Daisy white - innocence
Fern - sincerity
Forget me not - true love
Gardenia - secret love
Geranium ivy - bridal flower
Hibiscus - delicate beauty
Holly - foresight
Honeysuckle - bond of love
Iris - valuable friend
Ivy - friendship
Jasmine white - amiability
Jasmine Spanish - sensuality
Jasmine yellow - grace and elegance
Jonquil - wanting returned affection
Juniper - protection
Laurel - glory
Lilac purple - first emotions of love
Lilac white- youthful innocence
Lily calia - beauty
Lily of the valley - return of happiness
Lily tiger - wealth and pride
Mistletoe - kisses and affection
Myrtle - love
Nasturtium - victory and conquest
Olive - peace
Orange Blossom - innocence
Orchid - love and beauty
Pears - affection
Pine - hope
Rose - love
Rose burgundy - unconscious beauty
Rose cabbage - ambassador of love
Rose damask - brilliant complexion
Rose pink - perfect happiness
Rose thornless - love at first sight
Rose white - innocence
Rosebud red - pure and lovely
Rosemary - remembrance
Stephanotis - happiness in marriage
Tulip red - declaration of love
Violet blue - faithfulness
Water lily - purity of heart
(Thanks to Gloss)
Are you Relationship ready?
Drop the baggage!
If you want to start something new with somebody, it’s unlikely to happen or be successful if you've got a ton of emotional baggage hanging around.
Signs that you still need to let go are…
* You still think about your ex a lot - more than three or four times a week/day/minute.
* When you hear about your ex, you feel mad or very sad.
* You feel scared that you are going to be hurt again
* Your ex is still in your life in a way that’s not quite healthy. For example, they come around every night for dinner or are still sleeping on your couch!
* You can’t bear to throw out their old toothbrush and other personal momento’s they left behind.
* The thought of them being with someone else makes you want to turn inside out.
* You are occasionally still seeing or having sleep-overs with your ex.
If this sounds like you, then start to cut old ties. Get therapy, talk it out with a friend, write a goodbye letter where you say everything you want then burn it or have a throw out session of old possessions and memories. If necessary draw a boundary and move on with your life.
Sort out your life...
If you totally love your life - skip to the next question because there’s nothing more attractive than someone who is living their passion. If you wish your day-to-day was different then you are going to have to do some sorting out before you start to date because negativity is a huge turn-off.
Signs you need to take control of your life are being…
* Seriously in debt and not taking charge of the situation
* Unfit or unhappily overweight
* Unemployed and doing nothing to change it
* In a job you hate
* In continuing conflict with a family member or a previous partner
* Regularly indulging in sabotaging behaviours such as overspending, drinking too many glasses of wine in front of the TV or anything else you know isn’t good for you
* Continually pessimistic
If this sound like you, start immediately to create a life you love. Take control of your finances, plan a dream trip, start saving for your own place, go on that weight loss program, start visiting the gym, find a new job, volunteer with a charity and look for what’s great about your circumstances.
Decide what you want...
If you don’t know what you want in relationship, it’s really likely you will settle for something you don’t. Make a list of non-negotiable values that you couldn’t compromise on and then add on your wish list.
So get clear on if you want to date someone who…
* wants kids or who already has them or not
* has money, status and assets or not
* has cultural, religious, political or social backgrounds that you share or not
* is a smoker or not
* wants to get married or live with you or not
* shares a particular interest that you are passionate about or not
* wants to be based in the same place as you or not
If you find it hard to make a list of what you want, start with what you know you definitely don’t. Have fun with it and risk writing down what you most wish for. If you need help ask a good friend who you trust what they think you need in a partner.
